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Re: Un aiuto a Joe Dever per LS Expanded

Oggetto: Re: Un aiuto a Joe Dever per LS Expanded
inviato da EGO il 15/11/2007 20:02:46

Allora, ragazzi, due cose.

Innanzitutto, invito a moderare il temperamento. Tutti. Litigare tra di noi non serve, e agire in modo affrettato, contattando mezzo mondo, nemmeno, perché ad avere modo di confrontare i due testi siamo in pochi. Dever è stato avvisato, EL è stata contattata; cose giuste, ma non sempre fatte coi toni giusti. Riconosciamolo, è importante. Sono sdegnato quanto chiunque altro dal trattamento riservato al libro, ma per favore, calma. Soprattutto, evitiamo di punzecchiarci tra di noi e di sprecare tempo e parole in piccole lotte intestine fatte di botta e risposta che non producono altro che tensioni. Sfogarsi è comprensibile, ma adesso mi sembra che abbiamo abbondantemente passato il segno. Non faccio nomi e non faccio esempi, ma ognuno si moderi; sarebbe sciocco dover arrivare a chiudere discussioni che possono produrre qualcosa, soltanto perché non possiamo fare a meno di bacchettarci a vicenda.
Grazie a tutti.

Seconda cosa: mi sono preso una decina di minuti per esaminare le differenze tra testo italiano e inglese in alcuni paragrafi, scelti scorrendo il libro. Da quel che ho visto, gli esempi citati da Falco non sono assolutamente casi isolati. Perciò, a usufrutto di chi possiede il libro italiano, vi sottopongo alcuni stralci del testo originale, di modo che chi capisce l'inglese possa fare confronti. Vi prego però di osservare alcuni accorgimenti: primo, non inviate a Joe Dever quello che scriverò, perché sono solo pochi frammenti. Secondo, non avviate polemiche sulla base di questi frammenti: il discorso generale sulla traduzione l'abbiamo fatto, abbiamo contattato chi di dovere, abbiamo sollevato un bel polverone. Non voglio che questi esempi vengano usati per avviare altri flame. La situazione l'abbiamo capita, il mio unico scopo è quello di mostrare degli esempi PRECISI perché i singoli lettori possano farsi un'idea. Quindi vi prego di considerare questi esempi come puramente informativi, e non come pubblicità negativa da appendere in ogni forum del mondo o da affiggere ai muri in una campagna anti-EL. Provvederò io stesso a riportare questi stralci su LGL, quindi evitatevi il copiaincolla.
Spero di essere stato chiaro.

Risolto questo, ecco alcuni pezzi del libro originale:



‘Silent Wolf!’ he bellows, waking you abruptly from a daydream.

‘Perhaps you will kindly enlighten us. Tell us the name of the Wildlands’ costal city?’ You hesitate, stunned into open-mouthed silence by your tutor’s unexpected question.

‘Mmm… just as I thought,’, he says, shaking his wise head disapprovingly. ‘This is not the first time I have suffered your inattention. Perhaps a penalty paid now will serve to sharpen your concentration in the future.’

Star Fire reaches into the pocket of his tunic and withdraws a shiny coin. He gazes at it for a few moments as he considers what your penalty should be. Then he says:

‘I will let fate decide your forfeiture.’

He tosses the gold coin into the air and catches it deftly on the back of his left hand. Looking down at the freshly minted head of King Ulnar the Fifth, he says aloud:

‘So be it. Extra weapons training. Tomorrow morning. One hour before dawn. You will present yourself to me equipped and ready on the training park. Is that clear?’


Paragrafo 1:

You are awoken from your sleep by the clockwork chimes of the timepiece you placed beside your pillow the previous evening.


Paragrafo 282:

You place your hands under the Princes’ right arm and grasp the shaft of the arrow which has penetrated his chest wall. Then you transfer the power of your Kai healing skills through your hands and into his trembling body. For a few moments, his tortured face is softened by an expression of peaceful serenity as your healing powers melt away the agony of his wound. Sadly though, your worthy effort provides him but a short reprieve before he closes his eyes for the last time and slips away into eternal darkness.

Slowly you become aware of a strong hand gripping your shoulder. ‘He is gone,’ says the Captain of Pelethar’s Guard. ‘Come, leave him, you must away at once. My men shall attend to the Prince now.’


Paragrafo 330:

‘I know what you are. A mere fledgling spawn of Kai. Come here to gloat upon the duress of Vurnos. Your foolish insolence will not go unpunished. This Shadow Gate entraps my body, but no chains wrought by mortal man will ever defy my wrath. Weakling of Kai. Pray to your god… then prepare to die!’


Paragrafo 387:

‘No, sergeant,’ you reply, shaking your head, ‘I… I am the only Kai.’

The tough sergeant is visibly shocked by your answer.

‘Fall back to the archway!’ he shouts, commanding his men to retreat. ‘We’ll regroup and form a new line there.’

Through the smoke of battle you see two soldiers carrying wounded Prince Pelethar away from the fight. They are shielded by a semi-circle of knights, standing shoulder-to-shoulder to form a protective wall against the pursuing enemy. Suddenly the Gourgaz appears from out of the battle smoke, looming above them, its axe drawn back in readiness to strike. With a hideous cry it takes a scything sweep at the wall of knights and scatters them like leaves in a storm. The soldiers carrying Pelethar are both knocked down and the Prince is dropped to the ground. The Gourgaz strides forward and raises its axe once more. Weakened by his arrow wound and powerless to fight back, Pelethar snatches up a discarded shield and raises it to protect himself. The Gourgaz utters a disdainful laugh when it sees Pelethar cowering beneath the shield. It knows that it will not save the Prince from the crushing impact of its razor-sharp axe.

With his bodyguard torn and scattered across the ground, only you can save Prince Pelethar now. Without a moment’s hesitation, you draw your weapon and attack the mighty Gourgaz.


Paragrafo 446:

The terrifying sound increases until finally it overwhelms your senses. As you slip into unconsciousness, the last thing that you experience of this life is a feeling of being sucked into the dark void of the skeleton’s maw. In a few brief seconds your physical body is totally consumed. No trace of you remains in this world, for you have now passed into the Plain of Darkness, an evil and infinite place of timeless existence. Tragically, your soul has now become enslaved to Naar, the King of the Darkness, the ultimate force of evil in the universe of Aon…

Sadly, your mortal life and your mission to reach Holmgard both end here.


Paragrafo 448:

With a wave of his hand, Banedon bids you farewell and heads off into the trees at the north-eastern edge of the ruins. You return his wave and then continue your mission, pushing on through the dense woodland that fringes the south-western part of Raumas, heading in the direction Banedon has recommended.

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